Of Cute And Chaos
by My Other Car Is A Decepticon
Summary: Optimus Prime has a collision with chaos. Enigmatic cuteness ensues. OptimusxOC RatchetxIronhide SamxBee


Hi! This is a combination of a story I've been working on that isn't a fan fic... And a fan fic. I thought it might be unique to put them together. Squeaky and Nazak are both based on this delicious quote, from an RPG game that I love with a passion. Cyber-Cookie if you know the game.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, or the game from which these characters came. However, credit for Nazak and Squeaky is mine, because I created them.

**_And the little Wild Thing said: "I want to have a soul to worship God, and to know the meaning of music, and to see the inner beauty of the marshlands and to imagine Paradise."_ **

**_And the Oldest of the Wild Things said to it: "What have we to do with God? We are only Wild Things, and of the kith of the Elf-Folk."_ **

**_But it only answered, "I want to have a soul."_ **

**_Then the Oldest of the Wild Things said: "I have no soul to give you; but if you got a soul, one day you would have to die, and if you knew the meaning of music you would learn the meaning of sorrow, and it is better to be a Wild Thing and not to die or be sorrowful."_ **

**Lord Dunsany, _"The Kith of the Elf-Folk"_**

**Chapter One- To create the perfect ending, one must always start at the beginning.**

Nazak was in the middle of weaving a horrific nightmare to torment the idiotic police officer who had given him a ticket for parking a tractor in front of a mailbox when a very familiar voice echoed through his mind. "Beloved father. Squeaky is stuck again..."

Glacial blue eyes narrowed slightly as he continued weaving, sending thoughts in the direction of his wayward daughter. "How and why?"

"Squeaky tried to fit her head into a mason jar... Because she wanted to see if she could."

A manicured fingernail slipped into his mouth, he nibbled on it's tip critically as he thought for a moment an amused expression crossing his boyish face.

"Has Squeaky tried butter?"

"Mmyes."

"Soap?"

"Mmyes."

"A monkey wrench?"

There was a pause. He smirked. A moment later, the sound of shattering glass echoed through the air.

"The monkey wrench has freed Squeaky!"

"Excellent."

"Squeaky would like a treat."

"What kind of a treat?"

"Squeaky would like pie."

Nightmare completed, Nazak smirked and got up, making his way down to the basement. Crouching, he brushed a strand of bright purple hair from his face, peering into the opening of the massive fort they had constructed out of old refrigerator boxes. Squeaky had been thrilled with her fort, dragging every blanket in the house into it and declaring it her bed. Speaking out loud, he asked her what kind of pie she wanted.

"Key Lime. The aliens are coming today."

He tilted his head, pondering her reply. "Which and why?"

"Robots, because they are in need of help from Squeaky and the father who knows all things that are of the deep wilds."

"For what reason would I desire to assist these mechanical beings of colossal size?"

A slight scampering sound was heard, as the tiny blue skinned child crawled out of her box palace, her beady black eyes wide as she came close enough to touch noses with her father.

"They will save this planet from destruction."

A wide, wicked grin crossed Nazak's face as his daughter hinted at remembering her lessons.

"Why is the destruction of this planet such a bad thing?"

His heart swelled with pride as she proved his suspicion to be correct with her answer.

"Because the humans are needed for their stories, in which we are remembered and for their dreams, on which we feast."

With that, she climbed into his lap, curling her slender tail firmly around his own. "Is the beloved father proud of his offspring?"

"Oh yes, dear daughter. Your esteemed parental unit is quite pleased to know his daughter is not growing up to become an uneducated nitwit. Well done."

The tiny blue creature in his lap let out a content chitter as he pulled strands of gossamer dreams together, weaving them into what for all intents and purposes, was a fine slice of Key Lime pie.

The child was happy. As she hungrily devoured the meal placed before her, she pondered and plotted her glorious plan.

Oh yes, this would be fun. More fun even, then the plot to switch the land lord's new born son with a changling made from a potato.

**-So it begins-**

It was inevitable. Eventually, a non-military native of earth would have a run in with a Transformer. There was not an Autobot on earth who didn't expect it.

What no one expected, was how the encounter would take place.

Optimus Prime was cruising along highway 5, when out of nowhere, there was a small child red haired child, clutching a rather large rabbit in her tiny arms...

Standing less then five feet from his front bumper.

Even Bumblebee couldn't possibly have stopped in time. For a massive semi-truck, there was no chance. Even as he jack-knifed trying to avoid her, he knew there was nothing that could change the outcome.

Optimus Prime's terrified cry for Ratchet sent chills through every spark in the base. In all the millions of years they had known him, no one had ever heard such a small, frightened sound come from the Autobot commander.

"Ratchet... I... I think I've killed a human child. Oh sweet Primus...I couldn't stop..."

Ratchet was transformed and speeding towards the main road before the transmission finished, icy dread forming around his spark.


End file.
